USADA investigating superhero muffins after Flanagan victory

On Nov. 5, 2017, Shalane Flanagan became the first American woman in 40 years to win the New York City Marathon, sparking a Twitter storm of accusations over the use of the Superhero Muffins from her Run Fast, Eat Slow cookbook as a performance enhancer. The muffins first faced more scrutiny than just a taste test when the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency launched an investigation in late July.

Running experts including Steve Magnificent, Ted Mebflezighi, and Gara Koucher weighed in with their opinions.

Magnificent tweeted he thinks better testing measures are needed in order to recognize the use of performance-enhancing baked goods.

Mebflezighi found it difficult to get excited because the investigation into the muffin’s superhero powers is still being conducted by USADA.

Meanwhile, Koucher seemed unfazed by the possibility that the muffins helped Flanagan’s performance because her U.S. course record was still standing after Sunday’s race.

Leaked documents revealed by the Ugly Teddybears hack showed “significant increases in one’s ability to recover through the use of healthy fats and no gluten — the key components of the recipe featured in Shalane’s own book, Run Fast, Eat Slow.

The research conducted discovered that the fat is likely the performance enhancing ingredient. Runners are constantly told fat is bad; thus, most avoid it.

“Runners are so used to being told by Runner’s Planet magazine that they should be eating a low-fat, high-carb diet. We believe these muffins go against that notion, thus increasing the possibility of a performance enhancement by about 2,500%,” a snippet from the report read.

Others are now calling into question other recipes from the book, in particular the “Can’t Beet Me Smoothie,” “Don’t get Beet Hummus” and “Runner’s High Peanut Sauce.”

Currently, USADA does not test for muffin levels — but after Sunday’s performance, that may change.

What’s your favorite “performance enhancing” food?


P.S. Y’all know this is satire, right? Okay. Good. Just checking. We love Shalane — and her muffins. 😉

I write about mindfulness, mental health, and the professional sport of running with the occasional poking fun at the sport. When I am not running, I'm either helping people as a counselor or trying to make them laugh as an amateur open mic comedian.

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