After years of keeping it consistent and going all minimalist with my menstrual management, (read: setting myself free with OBs), I discovered there is this thing called a sports tampon. A sports tampon.
A. Sports. Tampon.
No really, a tampon for sports which is different than other tampons because … sports!
Are the regular tampons for regular lady things like quilting? Do they have special construction worker tampons or CEO tampons? Maybe a general ladies doing unlady like things tampon? Do I care? Am I needlessly getting all feministy and over-thinky about this?
Because … sports! I do sporty things!
I decided to investigate.
After googling “sports tampon” I found Playtex makes them, so I went to their site, Playtexplayon.com. The Playtex sports tampon has it’s own url. This is getting good! Upon visiting, I was greeted by the opportunity to receive a free sample! A free sports tampon. Hell yes! Sign me up!
Much to my amazement, my free sports tampon comes with a sports liner. Two for the price of zero! This day just kept getting better!
Except what the hell do I do with a sports liner?
Who cares. It’s free!
I submitted my request and I was expecting to go about my day wistfully dreaming about the lucky guy in the warehouse putting together the discreet package containing my free sporty feminine hygiene products and sending it on to the shipping department of Playtex headquarters. And of course my lucky mail lady. I bet she will have no idea what’s in that plain envelope. If she only knew!
These dreams were soon destroyed.
Six to eight weeks?! How can I wait two months to receive my sports tampon and sports panty liner. What will my sports vagina and sports panties do until then? I’ve never been verified to receive a tampon before, either. What does that entail?!
Oh look! Nevermind! Fit to Play quiz! Let’s play!
I dug deep down in my heart to answer all the questions as truthfully as I could. Pressing questions like this one:
That was a tough question because while I do almost always go with the pony I also don’t care. But I meditated on it for half a second and felt pony was closer to the real truth. Finally, I answered the last question. I anxiously pressed the button to discover the activity that’s my one true calling. And …. it’s ….
I wonder if Tampax makes a sports tampon.
Did you know that sports tampons were a thing? Do you or would you use them?