BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
*Young Bergamot’s hand emerges from under a pile of blankets to smack the alarm clock*
Once upon a time in a land not too far away, I ran in the morning. Only once a week, but still, I met up with a training group for Saturday morning long runs. The camaraderie made the runs feel easy and this group felt like a big ol’ running family. And there were usually pancakes after, but I had to sacrifice my social life on Friday nights, which was extra-tragic because I lived in a hopping part of the city.
Those people have become friends that I wouldn’t trade for the world, but even hanging out with them isn’t worth that early morning running shit.
Let me set the record straight. I’m quite motivated to run, but the thing is, I’m also quite motivated to sleep. Just because I’m not up at the buttcrack of dawn, snapchatting my way through my morning miles doesn’t mean that I don’t have an actual morning routine. Instead of waking up in the middle of the night and swearing as I stumble my way to pouring the coffee into my running shoes, my morning routine consists of waking up and stepping out of bed as I tousle my perfect hair with actual daylight highlighting the smile on my face. Well, not really. I just stumble and swear in the daylight, but it’s seriously f’ing better than that middle of the night shit.
And let me say that I actually do love the people who snapchat and Insta their way through the beginning of the day because I get to read and watch from the comfort of my own bed. It’s my morning entertainment and a little reminder to me that, “Hey, Self! This is going to be you later, but with fewer dark circles under your eyes and less crabbiness right before lunch. Get ready!”
And please just STAHP with the “great start to my day” crap. Running before work does not make me feel ready to conquer the world, it makes me feel ready to conquer the bagel tray at my morning meetings and barely able to conquer my closing eyelids during the early afternoon fits of narcolepsy.
I get it. Some people must run before the sun because that’s the only time in their day that they can. But if it’s not? WHAT THE EVER-LOVING F ARE YOU DOING THAT FOR? At this point in my life, I have the luxury of not having a spouse, kids, or even a regular day-job. Even when I did work eight-to-five, I ran after work. I often took my running clothes to work and drove straight to a trail to wind down after a stressful day. I looked forward to work ending, because it meant it was time to go run through the woods … without the fear of being feasted upon by nocturnal animals. Yippee!
Speaking of nocturnal animals, I’m not a vampire, yo. If it weren’t for running during daylight hours, I would basically be translucent with a vitamin D drip. I often run in the middle of the day, my one hour per weekday of the great outdoors and sunshine. Especially in the winter: girl, you need that sun. Not to mention, running half asleep in the dark on the icy snowy roads and leaving my nice warm comfy bed for negative windchill gusts in my face? Nope.
And what time do you dark morning people go to bed, because I can’t remember the last time I was asleep before midnight. That’s simply not how my body works and also that’s when I do all the things and watch all the shows. And, a more important question, when do these people ever go out to da club?
Are you an early morning runner?