5 Things I Wish My Running Watch Could Do

Friday 5Dear Maker of Popular GPS-enabled Sports Watches,

I want you to know that I am not complaining about my current watch except that the screens do weird things from time to time, but there are some things that I wish you would consider adding to your watches. Because I’m writing this on a Friday, I’ll limit it to five things and I respectfully request that you offer these features at no additional cost, of course.

The Apple I-Watch is coming and it might do all these things, but it doesn’t look like it will like it when I get sweaty.

1. A force field just like on Star Trek. I need the ability to activate it when I am running and a torrential downpour with thunder and lightning occur. I realize that this would severely drain the battery life and will accept that condition.

2. A hologram friend. I want to be able to project a group of people around me when I am running alone in dark areas or anywhere I do not feel safe. The hologram would not be required to say anything. I just need the appearance of not being alone. Again, I know it would reduce the battery life and again I accept that.

3. The ability to lock or unlock my car or house. This will keep me from expending energy wondering whether I locked my doors while I am running. It will also make it easier for me to get into my car of house after a run because I could simply push a button to unlock them. And if you donโ€™t mind add the ability to start my car when I am getting close to it so it will be warm in the winter and cool in the summer. Yes, I know the battery life will be an issue.

4. Sprinkler system activation. I would love to have the ability to turn on any yard sprinkler during the hot days just so I may run through them. And perhaps include fire hydrants as well. This will prevent me from overheating. Yeah, yeah, yeah battery life may be an issue.

Stack of original pancakes
Bia, forget the panic button. I want a PANCAKE button! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5. The ability to order food. I would love to be able to order and pay for food to be delivered at the end of my run. I agree that there should be $15 minimum and I am fine with that. I also know that the participants will be limited but as long as Whole Foods agrees I will be happy. Bla bla bla battery life. OK!

Again, I want you to know that I truly appreciate the current functionality of your watches. I think these few additions will only enhance your product.

Thanks in advance.



So how about you? What would you like yourย watch to do?

I eat miles for breakfast, or occasionally for a snack later in the day. Self proclaimed 50+ and fabulous poster child, US Army vet, college professor, avid runner, yoga enthusiast, guest columnist, and I've used Olay since I was 17 so they should use me in at least one of their ads!

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  1. Love this! During the winter, I’d really like option #3 especially if it would open the door, too. I once had to ring the doorbell because my hands were so frozen that I couldn’t even turn the doorknob.

  2. #3 a thousand times over! How many times have I run back to the trailhead to check my locks?! … Probably a thousand. Love this Friday 5!