poop – Salty Running

Arrested! A Poop Story

Posted by ParsleyAugust 25, 2017 1 Comment

This is a true story. The events depicted in this post did not take place in Minnesota in 1987. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the disgusted, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.

Not so long ago, I knew a woman I’ll call Trishit. One Sunday morning, while temporarily stationed on an Army base, Trishit went out for a long run. A few miles in, she suddenly had the urge to empty her bowels.

The urge came on strong, and at the worst time possible; she was weaving through a sea of office and administrative buildings that were closed for the weekend. In a completely urban environment, no woods in sight, she was at a loss for what to do. She tried the doors of several buildings, but they were all locked. Soon she reached the point of immediate action, so she hurried over to a nearby tree. It was the most cover she could find.

Just as suddenly as her urge had come, Trishit found herself among a flood of wailing sirens and flashing lights. Hastily finishing her business, she pulled up her running shorts as two police officers emerged from their cruiser and approached her.

They didn’t want to hear her story or listen to any excuses. No matter how Cottonelle her tone, there was no Charmin them, no way for her two ply them. Trying to hide their disgust, they issued her a citation.

Trishit was mortified at her ticket, but a megaroll of anger welled up inside her too. What was she supposed to have done? It was an emergency call of nature!

Instead of accepting the charges and paying the fine, Trishit showed up to her court date. She brought evidence in the form of a note from her doctor, which stated that she had irritable bowel syndrome, and therefore had no other choice: when she had to go, she had to go.

The judge dismissed the charges.

Trishit walked away Scott free.

…

In a small-world encounter years later, I shared an Army office with a lawyer, Major Canorpotty. One day, while we were sharing anecdotes, Canorpotty mentioned he had been the prosecuting attorney for a girl arrested for public defecation and public indecency. The details were the same; it was Trishit.

A stout, serious fellow who started his day off with a bag of Bojangles every morning, he didn’t have any AngelSoft feelings for the defendent. I told him his head was up in a White Cloud; he clearly didn’t understand the situation. We agreed to disagree.

Did Trishit really suffer from irritable bowel syndrome? Unlikely. Butt I do know it’s a good answer if I ever find myself in that same situation!

5 Salty Running Search Terms That Will Make You LOL for Realz

Posted by PumpkinSeptember 2, 2016 5 Comments

Search terms sounds so boring, I know. With a site like this one, the search terms that bring people here are often dull, sure, but occasionally we get a winner.

“Marathon taper” – boring.

“Will I lose my toenail?” – slightly less boring.

“Running while breastfeeding” – wait! You can do that?

See, search terms aren’t always boring.

In fact, they can give us a glimpse into the minds of strangers … often strangers we’re glad we’ll never know, but it’s still fascinating (and occasionally disturbing) to know what these faceless people do in the illusion of privacy on the internet. While I could probably list weird search terms all day long, I’ve refined my favorites to a list of five that I thought were the most … uh … interesting.
Read more >>

Stop the Trots! Is Imodium Safe for Runners?

Posted by CatnipApril 12, 2016 9 Comments

Experiencing ass issues (assues) while running? You’re not alone. Go on any group run and inevitably the conversation will turn to poop. That’s because, when it comes to running, not many things give runners more anxiety than poop.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever arrived at the turn-around of your favorite out-and-back route, the one with no bathrooms along the way, only to suddenly realize you HAD TO GO, suffering as you fought off the urge all the way home. And then there’s poop and racing. The thought of having a race interrupted by the need to hit a porta-potty or worse, not making it to one in time, is the stuff of our nightmares. Maybe this is why, next to caffeine, Imodium is many runner’s favorite drug!

But is Imodium safe for runners to use? We decided to investigate! Read more >>

5 Solutions for Bathroom Emergencies while Running

Posted by CocoaJanuary 15, 2016 16 Comments

We’ve covered bathroom emergencies before, but since that remains one of our most popular articles to date (yes, really) we know we can never talk too much about the topic. You’ll understand why the next time you get caught in a potty emergency! The more prepared you are beforehand, the better.

All runners know the standard emergency pit stops—e.g. public park restrooms, gas stations, the bushes. But sometimes, especially if you’re in a city or a residential suburb, those options just aren’t available. Instead of soiling your neighbor’s driveway, try one of the following options. I can personally attest that I’ve had ‘success’ at all five! Read more >>

Reader’s Roundtable: Running and Gastro-Intestinal Issues

Posted by Kyle GorjancJune 8, 2015 16 Comments

One of the most popular posts ever to grace the front page of our site is What to Do When You Have to Poop or Pee but There’s Nowhere to Go. That makes us wonder if there’s a runner out there who dares run a route with no bathroom options at all. I don’t think I know a single runner who hasn’t experienced gastro-intestinal distress at least to some degree while running. And yet it seems like no one has an answer for how to get the ol’ digestive track to cooperate. Let’s get to the bottom of this problem once and for all!

So, today we want you to share your trots tales, your poop scoop, your stool stories (sorry!) Have you experienced inconvenient, uncomfortable or potentially scary poop issues on the run? Do you do anything special to prevent having to poop on the run? If you’ve overcome GI issues, how did you figure out what was causing it and how did you fix it?

5 Mid-Run Potty Spots

Posted by CatnipOctober 10, 2014 16 Comments

Is there any runner on Earth who has not found herself, at one point or another, in the middle of a run wishing a bathroom would appear RIGHT NOW! You frantically scan the horizon for port-a-potties or civilization and, at last resort, a secluded spot where passing motorists won’t see your butt. A year ago, Salty wrote a post about the secluded last resort spots. But before using Salty’s tips, try one of these 5 potty spots! Read more >>

What to Do When You Have to Poop or Pee but There’s Nowhere to Go

Posted by Kyle GorjancJuly 23, 2013 37 Comments

It’s early. Really early. So early you can finish this run and get ready for work and be there on time. So early you woke right at the alarm and headed straight out the door, skipping your usual pre-morning run routine. Today is a good day for an out and back, you think. So you head 3.5 miles out the lonely quiet road and turn around. And of course, as Murphy’s Law dictates, just as you’re at the farthest point from home base (and a bathroom) nature calls.

You try to ignore it. The impulse subsides, only to come roaring back like a wave. You make it three waves or so before you realize you are going to have to take care of this business or the business will happen anyway. In your shorts. You look around and see neighborhood houses or trees or open fields or whatever, but no official places to do your business.

Aw, crap.

What the heck are you supposed to do?

Quit Your Bellyaching: How to Fight Running GI Distress!

Posted by Laura ParsonFebruary 19, 2013 2 Comments

tummyache — Uh-oh, looks like a storm is brewing. (Photo credit: sidknee23)

If you followed Rosemary’s posts, you may remember she completely overhauled her diet in 2012 to help combat the nasty GI problems she was having while running. After finding out I have Celiac Disease, I’ve been there! But cutting out problem foods wasn’t a golden ticket to relief from gastrointestinal distress while running; sometimes I feel like my tummy and I are waging war while I’m out there running. If you have GI trouble, too, you know sometimes it’s just horrible belly cramps that cut your run short, and other times a sudden grumble can send you fleeing for the closest restroom! If you’re affected by either or both, there are a few tricks I’ve learned to combat what I prefer to call “running stomach,” since I’m admittedly kind of grossed out by the whole thing. Read more >>

5 Top Trail Fails

Posted by CorianderFebruary 1, 2013 6 Comments

It’s Friday, Salties! When looking through the past Friday 5s I realized we were missing something. Something near and dear to my heart. What this site needs is an entire post dedicated to the foibles of the forest, the dangers of the dirt, the woopsies of the wilderness. You know, those moments you wished were like the tree falling in the woods that no one saw, but instead you were surrounded by groups of hunky dudes and the coolest chicks in town wearing their muddy Merrills and staring at you in your darkest trail running hour. Oh, those trail fails!

Know Thy Food – A Resolution Revisited

Posted by RosemaryJune 27, 2012 5 Comments

As Salty Running’s newest runner/foodie, I have so much to share about my perspective on the relationship between food and running! So while it seems rather late in the year to be talking about New Year’s Resolutions, I feel like it sets the stage fairly well for my “food platform.” Plus, I am darn proud that I am thriving with my 2012 resolution! It was twofold:

First, I wanted to clean up my diet. With 2012 being my highest mileage year in history, I had let some of my nutritional principles slide due to convenience and constant hunger. I kept wondering, why was I training as hard as an elite runner but eating like a garbage disposal? Secondly, I wanted to test out potential food intolerances. I’d been struggling with frequent, near-daily GI discontent for far too long. I realize I am risking a complete overshare very early on in my relationship with you Salties, but in the interest of honesty, let’s just be clear. My GI anger included bloating, gas, constipation/diarrhea, nausea, and cramping/pain and affected me both during and in between runs. I read Diet Wise by Keith Scott-Mumby and decided to give the elimination “diet” a try with the goal of eliminating/reducing GI symptoms. Read more >>

5 Food Fixes for Your Poop Problems

Posted by GingerApril 27, 2012 10 Comments

Let’s talk about poop. Why not? We’ve already discussed sex and boobs this week. Might as well discuss that other tmi topic while we’re at it.

When I began upping the volume and intensity of my running during the winter, I started spending significantly more time in the bathroom after each ~~run~~ session. Not to get into too much of the dirty details, but I will say that at times blood was involved. And my stomach would act up the rest of the day or into the night.

Awareness about stomach issues, such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Celiac Disease, has increased tremendously in the last decade due to better research and education about the human body and nutrition. I didn’t think my symptoms were serious enough to warrant any of these conditions but I thought that if I tried a few of the nutritional recommendations I read about that I could at least rule out the causes of my stomach woes. To my surprise, I haven’t had a stay longer than 5 minutes in the “john”, unless I was reading a good article. More importantly, blood hasn’t made an appearance either.

So, what are these nutritional changes you ask? Well, let’s take a look! Read more >>