Tag: grief

Running and Mom
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running and griefI feel like I won’t be able to start writing again until I write about the Austin Marathon and my mom. It’s not necessarily to close that chapter of my life, because I’m not sure that is a chapter than can actually be closed. There will always be a “before Mom died” and an “after Mom died” in my life.

I find myself rationalizing all the reasons why I’m ok. After all, I was a 37 year-old adult when my mother died, and my mother was only 18 when hers did. I was lucky enough to have her with me to celebrate my college graduation and to pick out my wedding dress. She knew my husband and was able to meet and love both of my children. I realize many people have much worse situations and have lost their parents earlier in life, but at the end of the day I still miss my mom. So what does this have to do with running? Nothing. Everything.

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Hope and Running: Why Everything Happens for a Reason
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Turmeric, husband and birch tree
The birch tree we planted to heal us.

Everything happens for a reason. These are at once the best and the worst words ever.

Usually, people say this when things don’t go their way, and they really don’t know what else to say. For me, it was all I had to hold on to ten months ago. It was what kept me going, even though I hated it.

One year ago, October 2015, my husband and I found out we were pregnant for the first time. We were ecstatic. Everything was going to be perfect. Until it wasn’t. At 12 weeks, we went for what we thought was going to be a normal ultrasound, and walked out completely blindsided. How could this happen to us, two healthy, young people who did practically everything right? Our OB kept our hopes up. She told us, it wouldn’t take long to get pregnant again. She told us to try to go back to our normal lifestyles once we let ourselves grieve and heal.

After a few months of grieving, naturally I decided to train to race a marathon. Read more >>

Stargazing
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dill stargazingRecently, I met my friend for a crisp, cool, wintry 5 am run. After she left, I decided to add on a few more miles, weaving back and forth among the cul-de-sacs in my neighborhood. Each time I turned to face east, I was struck with the beauty of the night sky.

There was a beautiful bright crescent moon with a trail of stars and one star in particular that was so bright and large that it may have actually been a planet. I made a mental to note to google if any planets were visible this time of year. For once I didn’t have a billion thoughts going through my head; I just ran and enjoyed the beauty and the solitude. I was at peace.

As I walked into work later that morning, that feeling of peace was quickly stolen away by the news that my co-worker and friend had passed away the night before. I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that bright star that caught my eye was him. Read more >>

Jessica Odorcic Runs to Overcome
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Jessica Odorcic, Tommy and their son Max. Image courtesy of Jessica Odorcic.
Jessica Odorcic, Tommy and their son Max in 2014. Image courtesy of Jessica Odorcic.

On September 21, 2013, two days before she was supposed to run one of the biggest races of her life and where she would attempt to qualify for the Olympic Marathon Trials, Jessica sat beside her husband at the Seidman Cancer Center in Cleveland, Ohio, trying to digest devastating, heart-wrenching news that would ultimately steal away her Tommy.

In August of 2012 Jessica’s best friend and husband had been diagnosed with melanoma on his scalp. Surgeons immediately removed it and everything seemed fine. Six months later, Tommy’s doctors discovered the cancer had metastasized throughout his lymph nodes, his organs … everywhere. Jessica’s Tommy, a loving husband, father, and her most supportive running companion passed away on June 28, 2014.

Back to that dreary day in September of 2013; Jessica told Tommy it would be selfish to race just two days after receiving the devastating news. Tommy would have none of that. He insisted that she run the race because it’s what she loved to do. So, she listened. Read more >>

Finding My Thing
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My older sister texted me one of those memes the other day:

IMG_3046
img via RotteneCards.com

I know she meant it as a joke, a “haha” to the fact that I am forever raving about running. I get it: it probably gets old. But it’s been on my mind since.

Today I headed out on a solo 10-miler on a hilly country road. It is 70 degrees out and gorgeous, but my hamstrings felt like painful lumps of lead from my gym workout two days ago.  This was not one of those smooth, effortless runs, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.  It was one of those heart-full, appreciative, mindful reflection runs. My mind drifted for 84 minutes about what my own running meme would be. . . Read more >>