Welp, I did it again. I broke up with the dude I was dating after just a few months. Why? When I explained that I didn’t want to go out late Saturday because of marathon training, he balked. “Can’t you just run later?”

Yeah, sure, I’ll just do that 14 miles by myself at the end of my day on the dark, icy streets I run all week instead of doing it in the morning with my sister and other friends on beautiful, wooded trails and enjoying the rest of my day without a two hour long run looming ahead. It’s okay, babe, sitting in a bar followed by a drunk sleepover in your dorm-room-furnished apartment with one pillow between us is worth it!

Or not.

But this begs the question, is it him or me? Are we runners being unreasonable by asking a partner to adjust his expectations of a good weekend to accommodate marathon training? Is it asking too much to say, “Sorry, you won’t be seeing me speed day, tempo day, long run day or the night before long run day. Oh, and when you do see me I’m going to eat more than you, need more sleep, probably not always smell great and mostly wear spandex.”

And it’s not just that I’m set in my single runner ways, I see this with my coupled friends. And whoa, when they have kids the demands are even bigger. Do we runners ask too much of our partners without giving enough in return? Are we giving up better relationships by prioritizing our training? Are our cries of health and mental well-being just lame excuses?

Do runners make bad partners, or good ones? How come?