A local runner raced a 5K marathon this week and discovered that her skin moves and does not always look hot when she runs.
Olive Tarun, 34, took part in the 5K marathon, a three mile-long endurance event, last Saturday at the YMCA. During the event her boyfriend took several photos of her as ordered. Upon completion of the race, she immediately snatched her boyfriend’s phone to review the pictures to choose which one to upload to Instagram. She was dismayed to see that she did not look attractive in all the photos.
“Some of the pictures were really terrible,” said Tarun, giving her boyfriend the side-eye, before snapping a selfie with this reporter.
“I mean, like, the skin on my legs was moving. I thought skin was supposed to be, like, totally firm and immobile while you run? That’s what the Instagram fitness pictures look like.”
Salty News investigators did see the bad pictures, and can confirm that they did in fact show evidence that the skin on her legs moved while she ran. We showed the pictures to Instagram fitspo analyst, Fay Moore, who agreed that a picture such as that, one demonstrating the effect of gravity on the human body, should never be uploaded. This is a hard and fast rule with very few exceptions, such as for the purpose of going viral or empowering others who happen to be a size six or larger to feel better about their even more jiggly and dimpled skin.
“But then,” Tarun continued, “other pictures from the race looked, like, way better. My skin was, like, tight on my hot runner legs that that magazine promised I’d get with three weeks of that one medicine ball workout. But when I saw the bad pictures, I feel like I wasted time running and getting stronger, because I swear I saw cellulite!”
Tarun, who casually mentioned several times over the course of our three minute interview that she’s a size two and 12% body fat and that her thrice-daily butt inspections have yet to reveal the faintest dimple, then showed her good pictures. In them, her skin was in fact motionless and she was much less gross looking than she appeared in the bad pictures where her body looked like a human body.
“But you know what?” she continued. “Those other runners were, like, totally inspiring, because even though they were faster than me, they had the courage to run this race even though their bodies were not perfect. It must be hard to find the courage to wear size medium spandex.”
Salty News also spoke to Dr. Sol T. Wunnyn, a local physicist, and asked him to explain the phenomenon of hideous race selfies. “It’s called motion,” Dr. Wunnyn explained. “An object in motion, like the skin on your legs, tends to stay in motion.”
“So what you’re saying is that your skin moves when you run?” asked Salty News.
“Yes,” Dr. Wunnyn confirmed. “Skin moves when you run, and if you took a picture of yourself running, you might see your skin move. Skin moving may be flattering or it may not be flattering depending on the moment captured in the photograph, so prepare yourself emotionally before taking pictures of yourself running.”
When we showed Tarun’s bad pictures to other racers walking by some agreed the wiggly skin was unsightly, and like Tarun, they speculated that the dimpling might be cellulite.
We asked Dr. Wunnyn whether the wiggly skin was cellulite. “It’s hard to say,” he said, “skin moving may have a dimply appearance, which some my call cellulite. But anyone with any percentage of body fat may at times appear to have cellulite. All people have skin. All people have fat under their skin. Therefore, people who have skin and fat and move will sometimes look like they have skin that moves and fat under it in pictures.”
After speaking with Dr. Wunnyn, Salty News followed up with Olive Tarun to let her know about the latest development in her case. She was shocked to hear that the scientific phenomenon causing the unsightly dimpling in her skin is known as Newton’s Law of Motion and had actually been discovered hundreds of years ago.
“It’s okay though,” Tarun said. “Turns out that posting pictures of my gross-looking legs and then a pic of me looking super hot next to the gross picture was the best thing that I could have done for my Instagram following! I even came up with my own hashtag: #somovablesobrave. I have thousands of followers now! Even some who are as big as a size eight and realize that if someone as attractive as I am has body issues they can too!”
Salty News will continue to follow this story to bring you further developments.
How do you ensure perfect running photos?