5 Ways to Guarantee You’ll Win the Race Lottery

Last Tuesday we were all on pins and needles waiting to see if Pumpkin made it into the Twin City 10 Miler. She entered the lottery, but unfortunately didn’t win a coveted entry to this popular race. She pronounced herself “bummed” and, as her friend, it broke my li’l heart to see her disappointment. I wanted to help. Rather than act impulsively and launching a full-scale media war or otherwise trying to subvert the race more » Read more

Make Running Great Again™!

Introducing our new slogan: Make Running Great Again™! Why might we change our slogan from the perfectly adequate “Get Chicked™”? Well, these are dark times in running, between the USATF infringing on athletes’ rights, to the doping epidemic and EPO flooding our borders, to the biased media indoctrinating us with the idea that we have any business spending hours training for marathons. And we long for the good old days, when people more » Read more

5 Things About That Shandy in Your Fridge After Your Hot Sunny 9-miler, Because it’s Not Going to Drink Itself

It was a hot, lazy day, and I’d done precisely nothing that counted as adulting: lounged around drinking coffee, spent the rest of the morning writing things for Salty Running, then ran for 90 minutes. I returned home drenched in sweat, thinking about how much I wanted to drink something sweet. That pointless, nervous little voice inside me insisted I was a complete waste of space who should feel deeply more » Read more

SaltyValu Lounging: Because Sometimes You Have to Sit the F Around

Big news!!! Our first venture into merchandising was such a runaway success that we are branching out into lifestyle products! By now you know that Salty Runners like to run, but did you know that sometimes Salty Runners just sit around? Sometimes by choice, sometimes not. Here at Salty HQ, several of us have been sitting on our butts the last few weeks. We were bitching talking about this when suddenly a more » Read more

I F*ing Hate Your Phone

You hold it in your hand with your damn headphones in your ears, because “I just can’t run without music!” You’re weaving all over the place and I’m tripping over you every time we round a corner. But you know what? I’m okay with that. I’m totally okay with you jamming along to C&C Music Factory because I get that some people really need the extra burst of joy that happens when you more » Read more

5 Ways to Fail at a Group Run

While on the hunt for running friends, you see a group run posted at your local running store. The sign says something compelling like, “Moderately paced 5-7 mile run. Come and make connections with fellow runners in your community! Free beer and 10% off socks!” You show up after work, ready to make friends and enjoy a casual evening jog. The running store is bustling with people of all shapes more » Read more

👻 5 Runners that Will Make You Want to be on Snapchat NOW!

Yes, you read that right: five boring runners who will make even you want to be on Snapchat. For you non-Millenials or the otherwise uninformed, while you might find a topless Mo Farah or Usain Bolt on a few random snaps, the game has changed from the sexting/let-me-send-you-a-pic-of-my-stick-and-ball-sports app to the anything-goes-in-sharing-random-sh*t app. If you’re not familiar with this thing that all the kids are using these days, think of it as an extension more » Read more

I F*ing Hate Yoga.

That’s it. I can’t take it any more. Yes, social media, I am a runner. No, social media, I do not love yoga. I do not like shirts with twisty straps. I do not believe there is a weather situation inside or outside in which one should wear pants and a bra top. Just because I have a messy bun and wear spandex everywhere I go does not mean I’m chomping at more » Read more

75 Running Excuses To Prove “It Just Wasn’t My Day.”

Have you been telling everyone that you’re fit and finally ready for an epic marathon, but concerned it might be very unpleasant to actually run as fast as you’ve been bragging you can? Are you afraid to “bend the rules” and trim a little off the course or pay that fast guy in your running club to run the race for you now that there are people who dedicate their lives more » Read more

5 Kernels of Wisdom from Contenders at the USA Half Champs

We’re here in Columbus at the Cap City Half and have had a full day including a press conference, a reception, and a little one-one-one with some of the top seeds. The elites were out in full force, sharing their wisdom in their quest for the One Ring, a load of cash, and a national title. They’re not rocket scientists or Nobel Laureates; however, their achievements as athletes cannot be denied. They have more » Read more

Clean Eating for Salty Runners: Let’s Eat Like Our Ancestors!

Every runner knows that food is fuel. And every runner knows that the cleaner the fuel the better the burn, right? I mean, science doesn’t say that, but a lot of people who sound like they know what they’re talking about sell books and stuff that say that, so it must be true! I mean, clean is totally better than dirty. No one likes dirty. Hmmm, let me rephrase that: more » Read more

5 Last Minute Tips for the Boston Marathon

The Boston Marathon is on Monday. I repeat: the Boston Marathon is on Monday. Now is not the time to cram in last-minute training or change all your plans. However, maybe you’re waiting to hop on a plane to Boston and killing a few minutes at work because you can’t concentrate on anything other than the big race. In that case, now is a good time for a quick refresher, along more » Read more

5 Medieval Weapons for Women Runners

Spring brings flowers, blue skies, and a yearly flood of articles on how to run safely outdoors as a woman. With such original victim-blaming nuggets as “don’t run by yourself in the dark” or “don’t say where you plan to run on social media” and, my personal favorite, “don’t run on the trails alone!” Because if someone decides to attack me, it’s definitely the woods’ fault. I’m not making light of more » Read more

5 Rule 40 Workarounds

Have you noticed all the social media chatter about the International Olympic Committee’s Rule 40, the rule meant to protect the value of an Olympic sponsorship for those companies that can pony up the $10-50 million it takes to become an official sponsor of the Games? The recent controversy is actually about the U.S. Olympic Committee’s guidelines that tell brands that sponsor U.S. Olympic athletes how to comply with the IOC’s Rule more » Read more

Runners, Which Presidential Candidate Is Right for You?

The presidential race is a lot like a marathon. It’s long, really long. It’s all fun and games in the beginning, but after the halfway point you start to wonder if you can survive to the finish. A lot of crazy things happen along the way. A lot of people drop out. Some perform way better than you’d expect. Many of us swear we’re over it and will never bother investing ourselves in another more » Read more