Barley’s Training & Life April-June

I figured it was time I catch up over here on training logs. Where I left off was heading into taper before Boston, which was clearly a while ago! A lot has happened since then, truly a roller coaster of very high and very low’s.

Boston Taper/Race Week

Monday: Norovirus- sick in bed

Tuesday: Norovirus- sick in bed

Wednesday:ย Norovirus- sick in bed, evening pregnancy test

Thursday: Easy 3ish miles

Friday: 5ish mile track fartlek to shake out legs after the week

Saturday: 3 treadmill recovery miles

Sunday: 3 easy miles + Strides

Monday: Boston, 5 weeks pregnant

Race week started with me in intense pain, and going to the doctor….clearly not ideal. At first they thought it was my gall bladder but turns out it was just a really bad case of Norovirus (stomach flu) going around. So I spent a few days in bed and tried not to freak out about running a marathon a few days later. Wednesday night though, Brian and I also found out that we were expecting our first child. This oddly, had nothing to do with norovirus and was just really bad timing to get sick. But that happy news was honestly going to outweigh anything that happened or was happening at the time.

Once the dust settled a bit, things just made so much more sense. I struggled the last few weeks before Boston with lack of motivation, easy runs were a little more effort than normal and workouts just didn’t have that zing to them. When it came time to think about the race itself, I knew I would give it a shot but didn’t have many feelings either way on how it would go. I wanted to try and I hoped to finish but at the end of the day, it didn’t matter.20160417_162318 (1)

How did Boston go? Well the short of it is, I gave it a shot for the first half ย and then pulled the plug after that and just ran (much slower, including walks and pee breaks) to the finish. I ran a 3:16 marathon after spending months training for a 2:55, and I truly have no regrets. I ran 17 minutes slower in the second half than the first, and after the final step across the finish line I didn’t run for more than 30 days. Iย also spent that time incredibly happy, and hopeful.

Brian and I obviously weren’t broadcasting the baby news after Boston, it was still so early even though we wanted to tell anyone who would listen. The risk of miscarriage in the first trimester is higher, even without any complications I had in the past. So when people were asking why I wasn’t running after , or when people were prying for more information about my slower Boston time- it made for a tricky spot to be in. I told some people the truth, and others I just brushed it off with saying I was taking a break. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that both were true. I was pregnant, but I also was taking a much needed break.

Boston Recovery

Week 1: Nothing, nada, zilch

Week 2: 1 walk (3 miles)

Week 3: 2 walks (6 miles total)

Week 4: 1 walk (3 miles)

Week 5: 1 walk (3 miles), 1 easy run (2.5 miles)

Week 6: 3 walks (9 miles total)

In the end, things didn’t work out the way we hoped. At 12 weeks we found out we weren’t going to be parents anymore, and at 13 weeks said goodbye. There are few words I can use to describe the emotions we are going through together, but the big thing is we have each other. We also have awesome friends/family, including the Salty family who are incredibly supportive and helpful. I could write 1305927351 words on everything right now, but it will all come out eventually. In the mean time, we are wading through the emotions and working to find a routine (and way back to running). I won’t call it a comeback though, because that doesn’t feel right. I guess we will just call it a new beginning.

A new mom and Upstate, NY resident who loves the marathon, a good beer, and all of the numbers/nerdy things. I write about my journey to a sub-3:00 marathon, training tweaks for improvement, and finding that "running/life balance" unicorn. On tap Next: Maneuvering through motherhood and postpartum running!

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13 comments

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. I read your blog post earlier in the week, and like some others here, have had my own experience with miscarriage, and know it’s something I still carry with me.

    1. Thank you Jesse, i agree that it’s something we will always carry. I hate that so many have to go through this, I would not wish it on anyone yet it is SO much more common than most realize.

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage as well. A strong support system is so important and it sounds like you’ve got that. Take good care :-)

    1. Thank you Mina, you are very right…I cannot imagine this without the amazing people around me. Having been through something very similar in the past but with a very different (and not good) support, I just…yeah…couldn’t handle that.

  3. So sorry to read this. Your letter was touching and heartbreaking. Many good thoughts to you as you navigate through this.

  4. I followed your training here and on your blog. I saw you weren’t running after Boston and should have put 2+2 together. Your update brought all the emotions from my 4 miscarriages back. The first two were the worst, even if I already had a daughter. I had so much more anticipation as you did. The last two were different. The third, I was going in weekly to be checked and had 3 weeks of normalcy then a slowing of the heart at which I knew it was over. The last (after a successful second pregnancy) occurred when my marriage was failing and my now-ex didn’t even want me to have another. Realizing the heart beat was slowing (again!) after a couple ultrasound checks was analogous to my marriage. I’m just so sad you are going through it and sad to be reminded of all the different emotions that I have about my own and others situations. The positive side of all of this is that after 3 miscarriages, I had my second child successfully. We runners are strong and with the love of partners, family and friends, we can be the best of moms as well. I wish you peace and love in your recovery and hope for the future for you as well. It seems like you’ll be an incredible mom at the right time.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to Comment Susan. I am SO sorry you have struggled with this so much, but thank you for sharing your story.

  5. Sending you lots of love as you recover and rediscover your wheels. Thanks so much for sharing this – I’m sure it will help others to know they are not alone in their own pain. ?

  6. Laura, I’ve been thinking of you so much the past couple of weeks. Thank you for linking to the letter you posted on your blog. It was incredibly beautiful and heartbreaking. There is no pain greater than the one I felt when we lost our daughter, and I am just so sorry you are having to go through this. Sending good thoughts your way. <3

    1. I thought about you and your story a lot in the last few weeks as well coincidentally. You are a wonderful person and the happiness I see in your life now with your family and you personally gives me the hope that I need. Hugs, cannot wait to see you in July!