Attention Friends! Spouses! Partners! Family members of runners! Are you tired of having to put up with the weird habits, quirks, annoying schedules and rituals of the runner in your life? Good news: it’s almost April Fool’s day, your chance to introduce some havoc into your runner’s world.
You may be an expert at April Fool’s jokes, from short sheeting the bed to saran wrapping the toilet, but do you know how to mess with a runner specifically? Here’s everything you need to know to trick your favorite runner this April Fool’s Day.
Mess with her gear:
Hide your runner’s favorite go-to shirt or lucky shorts. For extra bonus points, be sure to be wearing said article of clothing but pretend to be oblivious to the fact that you are wearing it when she asks if you’ve seen it.
Alarm clock hilarity:
Is your beloved runner always going on about how she just loves to get her run in while the world’s still sleeping? Change the time on her alarm clock. Around 2 a.m., jump up and yell “it’s 4:30! You’re going to be late for your run!” Sit back and watch as she scrambles to get ready. Time how long it takes her to realize she’s been had.
Does your favorite runner have at least six pairs of the same shoe (all in the same color)? For once, you can make this bizarre habit work for you. Swap the left shoe from her current pair with one of her older pairs. See how long it takes for her to notice something is off.
Switch her GPS watch or treadmill to kilometers. Woohoo! 5:14 is the new easy pace! Oh, wait…
You know those annoying little packets of gu that litter your kitchen? Replace them with those little baby pouches of applesauce that look a lot like gu. Or if you are really evil, replace her gu with only the flavors she can’t stand.
Other ideas: Put sugar in her nuun. Replace her Gatorade with Kool-Aid.
Out of order:
Does your favorite runner always makes a pit stop at the same Starbucks or McDonald’s on each run? Try throwing an “out of order” sign on the bathroom door and see your runner panic. Maybe she has a go to port-o-pot on her route. A simple zip tie on the door handle can make for an interesting run!
Have you ever tried the electrolyte drink HEED? HEED looks just like water, but has flavor to it. It is just fine – when you chose to drink it. However, when you take a big old swig of what you think is water, or squirt what you think is water all over your head and it’s not . . . Happy April Fool’s Day!
Is your runner super proud of her Strava records? Hop on a bike, ride all her favorite routes, and steal all of her records.
Your runner doesn’t use Strava? Never fear, just log into her Garmin Connect account and manually enter runs that are only a mile long, but take three hours to complete.
Join the movement:
Has your runner tried and failed to get you on the running bandwagon? Get dressed in your most embarrassing, outdated workout gear and be waiting by the front door for your runner when she is about to head out for her run.
This works best if you wait until she has a speed workout or a specific pace run planned. Watch your conflicted runner squirm as she tries to decide whether to encourage your newfound enthusiasm by taking you on her run, or discourage you because she NEEDS to hit her workout paces today.
If your runner loves heavy metal, fill her playlist with some Enya and relaxing ocean waves sounds. Or you can fill her entire playlist with all 187 versions of “Chariots of Fire” on Spotify.
**Disclaimer: no runners were harmed in the writing of this article, remember to always be kind to the runner in your life! And don’t forget National Hug A Runner Day on November 20 — we runners can be annoying, but we need love too!
***Don’t miss any of the Salty Running #MarchMadness contests this week happening only on Twitter (@SaltyRunning). Today’s bracket contest is for best running shoe brand. The finalists are Altra, Hoka One One, Brooks, and Skechers. Voting is open until Sunday evening, the winning shoe brand will be announced on Monday. PLUS: Giveaway time! To enter the giveaway, quote the poll and say who you voted for and why. Giveaway winner will be randomly selected and announced on Monday and will win a gift pack from Perfect Bar and Salty Running!***