Month: February 2019

The Moult
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So I’m reading this book, 12 Rules for Life, by 4chan hero Jordan Peterson. It’s a pretty decent book if you can ignore the fascist-y undertones. The book doesn’t have anything to do with what’s to follow except that I have lobsters fresh in my mind. Mmm, fresh lobster.

Besides being territorial little fighters with an ancient social hierarchy, lobsters are delicious. No, hold on … What was I going to say? Oh yeah.

Besides being delicious, lobsters moult, or shed their shells. They grow a new, soft shell underneath their old, brittle shell, then climb on outta there. For a while after shedding the old shell our lobster friend is mushy and vulnerable, but soon enough she’ll be as strong as before and ready to do her lobster thing. Her new shell is not the same as the old one, but the process gives her the potential for change and growth. Neat!

Note of vindication for metaphor haters: snails do not moult. I looked it up.

In the last pile of words I heaped onto the Internet I hemmed and hawed a bit about the potential fate of Salty Running and whinged some about my own potential fate, should I take on the responsibility of keeping it afloat (heavy is the head, woe to the burden-bearer, blah blah). I have often found whinging to be a fruitless enterprise, but in this case there were fruits! Also neat.

Not only have people pitched me potential new contributors, a few of our former contributors said they would be interested in writing more stuff for SR. Very neat!

Here’s where the lobster business comes in:

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In the Chute
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Running has a metaphor for everything, amirite?

My post last Monday stirred up some activity. In a perfect world I would say, “The response was overwhelming!” I would be moved to breathe life back into the site, to have an open call for contributors and put it all back.

But it wasn’t. And I can’t, at least not the way it was. Although several people unexpectedly came to my aid with emotional support (thank you!) and lots more responded and told me they loved SR and missed it, the overall response wasn’t overwhelming. It was enlightening though, and moved me to give the decision to completely shut down a re-examination. Here’s what I learned:

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The End
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I am beginning the process of shutting down Salty Running.

Most of you have moved on with your lives and left it already, but every day I’m fielding emails and checking comments and staring at this huge body of work we created trying to figure out what to do.

The word ‘body’ is the right one to describe it, for sure. I feel like I have to be an undertaker to my own friend. I am staring at a giant body, now hollow but once vibrant and full of activity. I loved it, and now I feel an incredible amount of sorrow because this thing I loved has died. I’m at a loss, unsure if I have the ability to make the right decisions.

I made so many friends here. You changed who I was. You gave me something important to pursue, a dream to chase. You made me expect more of myself. You made me push harder and try for more. When you were cheering for me, I did my best.

I don’t want to put it away. I want to build it up bigger than it was, but I can’t do it by myself. Alone, I don’t have the ability or vision to carry it forward and I am uncertain if there is even a need anymore. We set out to create room in the world for a certain kind of woman, and in the last seven years, space has been made. I think we helped a little, and that feels good. Maybe it means the mission is complete. Maybe the good things we gave can be enough to say I did a good thing here.

This has been a really special, life-changing, identity-changing thing for me and it’s hard to let go. I would welcome any input you might have about what to do with the amazing body of work we created together and how to move forward.

I may update, I may not.