These are your coworkers at an office party. They like cake. When you tell them you like running, what do you think they’ll say to you? img via thebadchemicals.com
Here on SR we talk a lot about how much we love to run. You and I know how good running can be, how much it has changed our lives for the better, or helped us get through tough times, strengthened our families and kept us sane.
Well, when we talk about our love of running here at Salty Running we know that we’re preaching to the choir. Convincing each other that running is great is easy, but we aren’t always talking to other runners.
You know what I’m talking about. You know how non-runners can act when your running comes up in conversation… For some reason, many people get uncomfortable or dismissive about our good habit. So many times when a non-runner has said something annoying about my running I have walked away and then thought “AUGH! I should have said–!”
No longer, my friend. Submitted for your approval, are things I should have said to the most obnoxious retorts about running:
1. Knees. As in, “I want to run, but I have bad knees,” or “You shouldn’t do that, you’ll hurt your knees.”
How come nobody tells football players they shouldn’t play or they’ll hurt their knees? img via superamazing.net
If I had a dime for every time I’ve been told that some other sport was better for my knees than running I’d be able to afford my own swimming pool. The fact is, strong legs mean strong knees. Running is great exercise for your knee-supporting muscles, not to mention keeping weight off. Ever notice how a lot of people who complain about their knees are overweight? When I was an overweight runner, my doctor told me that losing ten pounds feels like losing 30 pounds to your knees. I’ve lost nearly 70 pounds now from running, so I think it’s safe to say my knees are healthier than they ever were when I was a couch potato.
My retort: “Maybe YOU would hurt your knees, but I don’t – check out my hot legs! I don’t get these muscles by sitting on my tuchus!”
2. You ran a marathon? Oh cool, how long was it?
Spoiler alert: it’s 26.2. img via Wikipedia.
Seriously? I know not everyone is a runner, but I really thought everyone had learned the legend of the Marathon in school. As this ridiculous guy states it,
Legend states that way back in 490 B.C., Pheidippides ran from Marathon to Athens to announce the victory of the Greek army. As the tale goes, he ran the full 26 miles and then promptly died.
Although the truth behind this story is the subject of some debate, I would say it’s pretty widely passed around. In fact, I’d go so far as to say anyone who can’t answer the question, “How long is a marathon?” is decidedly not smarter than a 5th grader.
My recommended retort? “Oh, about a mile and a half,” accompanied by a thin smile.
3. OMG I’m a runner too! I do a mile on the treadmill once or twice a week!
Here’s what I think of your very occasional treadmillism. img via sualk61 on flickr
Not that I don’t support anyone in his or her exercise endeavors, but dude, that’s not a runner, that’s a casual occasional jogger. I, on the other hand, am a runner. I’m not some wuss that won’t lace up when it’s raining out or some seasonal bandwagoner who signs up for the corporate challenge 5k every year and that’s it. I’m not some chick who runs just to make sure I get my cardio in when my boot camp class is canceled…running is my life! It’s a huge part of my identity! It’s my favorite way to spend my spare time! I love racing and competing against myself and striving to attain a goal! I have realistic dreams of a Boston Qualification. I am a marathoner, and have made the perfect half marathon a serious project for myself.
My recommended retort for this one: “Hey man, that’s awesome. Good for you. If you ever want to join me on a longer run I’m training for [your next big race]!”
4. I only run when someone is chasing me!
Next time I hear this, I plan on chasing whoever said it. img via stuant63 on flickr.
This is usually followed by the speaker laughing at his own joke. You know why? Because he’s the only person who thinks it’s funny.
It’s not! First of all, it gives me occasional horrible daydreams (daymares?) of being chased during one of my runs. But second, I think I hear it at least three times a month.
My retort: laugh as sincerely as you possibly can (which likely isn’t much at all) and then say something creepy like, “Well when I turn into a zombie, I’ll know who to eat first.”
5. You ran How many miles? Man, I don’t even like driving that far!
As hilarious as I think this is, it’s way not as awesome as running. Sorry. img via Wikipedia
Yes, I know. Your lack of motivation to exercise is only surpassed by your lack of a sense of adventure. Color me impressed by your dismissal of all the hard work I do and all the passion I have. I understand that your high school wrestling coach made you run as punishment or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you can’t support me and my passion for a sport that gives me intense happiness and glorious freedom.
My retort: “Maybe you could try a Segway. I hear it’s both lazier than running AND driving!”
What about you? Do you get negative feedback from non-runners about your good habit? What’s the most annoying thing you’ve heard?
I laughed out loud when I read this! I have heard every single one of these comments. I always want to be snarky, but sometimes I will say- “If I can do it, anyone can do it.” I don’t know if I believe that anymore. I think the truth is, “If you want to do to be a runner, you CAN be a runner.” It takes motivation, and dedication and focus. I will turn down a second glass of wine when I have 10 or 16 or 20 miles on tap the next day. I will go to bed at 9:00 p.m. when I have a race in the morning. (who am I kidding, I usually go to bed at 9:00 p.m.!) I love running, and I love what running has done for me. I am stronger, leaner, more energetic and happier because I am a runner. And my knees have never been better!
I always say the same thing to this stuff: “people either love running or hate it. I’m lucky I love it!” That actually tends to placate them and makes them feel validated about their disdain for running and their characterization of me as some freak of nature :)
I honestly think a lot of these lines come from a place of curiosity and even jealousy. Many of those people in the “hate running” camp are trying to understand what us running freaks could possibly enjoy so much about it. And some others who say they hate running only say that because of the frustration they feel because they think they can’t.
And dude, I think the treadmill is a perfectly valid option for getting the miles in. I happen to like it!
Twitter: CinnaOne
says:
It’s not about the treadmill–that’s fine. It’s about the lack of commitment! Someone like that who calls himself a runner minimizes what it means, in my mind. To me it’s a lot like how you feel about short race courses.
Cinnamon recently posted..5 Snappy Comebacks for Sh*t Non-Runners Say
I know. I was kidding you :) This is awesome and you’ve tapped in how most of us feel about it!!
I don’t even know if it is commitment as much as it is an attitude/identity. To me, there is a big difference between a runner and someone who routinely logs a few miles for fitness purposes. The latter are doing it to stay in shape/get exercise, but otherwise do not identify as a runner. Analogies: I do some light weight lifting, but only in an attempt to rid myself of the flaps Nutmeg mentioned yesterday. I hardly identify in any way as a weight lifter. Similarly, I ride my bike sometimes, but do not identify as a cyclist at all.
Mint recently posted..Fighting Through
Twitter: debra_serrins
says:
I’ve heard all those plus various ones asking about my safety – aren’t I afraid of rapists, dogs, cars, bears, etc. I try to remain positive with people whatever they say.
Ironically I just had my desk at work (I work in an office cubicle) adjusted so that I can work standing up. One of the guys at my work has now told me a few times and told many other people that I will “kill” my knees and will need surgery within a year. I just shrugged and said “I don’t think so” and kept walking down the hall.
How could I not have a great Friday after reading this post. Completely hilarious and totally accurate. My favorite retort is #1. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when someone talks about running and knee-damage. Now I’ll know exactly what to say! :)
Don’t forget those who constantly forward you the articles when someone dies during a race. OMG I will probably die if I keep doing this!! My favorite retort to this one was forwarding the person a copy of Tough Mudder’s Death Waiver (http://toughmudder.com/waiver/) and just told them I was badass like that. Bring on the potential for death I love this extreme sport! (rolls eyes).
I also had a colleague who ran a couple miles a few times a week who constantly told me marathoning is just bad (but his level of running was, of course, great). He said it was just too much to do to my body. I’d always ask him how it was bad for me (my knees, my heart, my spleen?) and of course he didn’t have an answer. We both left it at: we’ll see how I am doing in 20 years. :)
Mint recently posted..Fighting Through
Yes! I have a couple of those in my life, too. Plus the ones who say “Didn’t the first person to run that far die?”
Sassafras recently posted..A Chat with Run Like a Mother’s Dimity & Sarah
Yes, yes, yes to all of these. The funniest part is that I was the one making these comments only about a year ago (super-newbie runner!), especially the “I only run if someone’s chasing me, ha!” I’m totally stealing the turning-into-a-zombie retort… but isn’t that a reason to be running in the first place? So I don’t turn into a zombie? Mind = blown.
Leah recently posted..October is race month!
Great! I’m gonna shrink this, print it, put it in my pocket. I dont’ know what’s better, your responses or your spot on list of questions.
Mark Matthews recently posted..Chasing The Dragon
Another one that gets me, are the people who every time you mention running say “I wish I could run”. No matter how much you encourage them you can never even get them off the couch, but they keep saying it “I wish I could run”. I’m fond of telling them to stop wishing & start working. There are no fairy godmothers coming to make you a runner.
J. recently posted..3 Self-Care Strategies to Transform Your Life | World of Psychology
I know! At this point I just feel bad for people for people like that and hope some day they’ll get it. I hate when I encounter people in their 50′s in poor health who suddenly realize how much they took their health and bodies for granted. It’s never too late, of course, but the longer people put this kind of stuff off the harder it is to make this kind of lifestyle change! (So, if you’re reading this and on the fence- GET OUT THERE NOW!) :)
Love this list! Re: #2, I know of a few local half marathons that are called “minis”, even further confusing people. Or you know, there are those who will call any race a marathon!
Sassafras recently posted..A Chat with Run Like a Mother’s Dimity & Sarah
Haha! So true! Another one is “Admit it, you run that much just to remain skinny, there’s no way you can enjoy running 15+ miles on a Saturday morning”…
It annoys me when people say, “oh, you are running a 5k this weekend? that must be so easy for you since it’s only 3 miles.” — If you are really training and trying to RACE rather than RUN the race than (to me) a 5k is going to hurt A LOT. …not easy at all..
Okay I think #3 is kind of shitty. The response is fine, but the banter leading up to, just plain shitty. I mean, come on, lets try to encourage people with the things we love that make us happy, not feel like we are some super human being because we run more than others do or can. Everyone starts out running one mile at first, and its one mile at a time after that….